This morning I woke up to a suprise snowstorm. For those few seconds I was overjoyed thinking how exciting the first storm of the season is and then I thought this is a little early for such a storm. It snowed all day. I wanted to go to the temple after work because I thought that would be a good way to celebrate Mom's birthday but then I talked myself out of it because of the weather. I remember when I was younger sometimes I was bothered about sharing my special day with Mom, not that we shared the day but you know what I mean. Now I would give anything to share her special day or my special day (not so special anymore) with her. I think about how she would be 79 years old today. I see 79 year old women on a daily basis and I wonder what she would be like if she were still alive. Fall always reminded me of Mom. She told me that it was her favorite time of year and Fall colors were always her favorite. I am trying not to think too much about turning 40 years old tomorrow. Jonas said to me tonight " Sara, so you are turning 60 years old?" Stacy and I laughed. Forty or sixty, it is all the same to him. 40, it is just a number right. It does'n't mean anything. I don't feel 40. People don't think I look 40, or maybe they are just being nice. I still think of myself as being in my late 20's. What does that say about me? I think I just thought I would be in a different place at the age of 40. So somehow I am thinking that 40 is more difficult for me than others who have husbands and children. I think it is the whole biological clock thing. Okay enough about me and my issues.
Happy Birthday to Stacy. I started sharing my birthday with Stacy since Mom died. It is good to share. I have learned many things from sharing. That was one of my first bonding experiences with Stacy when we found out that we shared the same birthday. I think we have celebrated together ever since. I have had some thoughts about the election as well. I am happy and proud to live in a country that after an election the loser of that election does not form their own army and then take over the country. There are many areas of the world where this could easily take place. America has spoken. And I guess I better be ready for what ever happens. It could be a wild ride. I choose to focus on faith. We shall see.
The bump in the road has grown.
6 years ago
3 comments:
Happy Birthday sara. I love you and it doesn't matter if you're 40or 60, you're still fun to be around. I hope that when you are 60 I will still be kickin'. It was fun to read your post and I always looked forward to this time of year because it was mom's bday. I remember so well the night you were born. we were not expecting you for another three wekks. Funny how the expected Thanksgiving babies just come early. I remember that the day before we had a ward bazaar and I bought mom a beautiful autumnal apron for her birthday. It really was very pretty. And then you came the day after. November is such a good month all the way through. Birthdays and thanksgiving - my favorite holiday of the whole year.
I remember your birthday because Dad was in the front room with Jon Judd passing off merit badge and he was supposed to be driving Mom to the hospital. He didn't seem to be in any rush and I was getting worried and panicked that they weren't in the car yet. Mom was calm and said not to worry, but I was worried anyway. Television had taught me that you feel the contractions and you rush to the hospital. I didn't know that Mom knew what she was doing and everything would be all right. When you came home I fell instantly in love with you. In fact a few years later when Mom announced that she was pregnant with Josh I vowed to myself that I would never love him as much as I loved you. He would never take your place. It all worked out because Josh was another sweetheart baby and I just learned how to love more.
I also thought of Mom yesterday and how she loved the fall. I loved that yours and Mom's birthdays were a day apart. I intended to go to the cemetary for my annual birthday visit but it was so darn cold I talked my self out of it. I called your cell phone to wish you a happy birthday but you didn't answer and as you know your voicemail has a serious problem. I love you and hope you have a wonderful day. I also remember when you were born. Dad took some of us to the old Price hospital and the nurse held you up to the window so we could see you. You were crying and had a very red face. I'm glad that you get to share this day with Stacy, hopefully it will be happy for both of you.
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